=)

I had been not blogging for a long long time . and had been thinking alot . so decide to write down here .
Since young till now , i have been living with a poor attitude towards those people around me . regardless my family , my friends and those all walked into life who played a role in life has never been my true friends . so now i don't even have true friend to talk to . i have been a selfish and a self-centered person who only think of myself and had never think for others and resulted to have no friends . I know i don't know how to communicate , socialise with people but i also don't know what else can i do . how i wish that i could reconcile with my brother and my sisters . i had never talked to them for months or even for years . It needs a very big courage to do this and a correct way . And for my friends , how i wish i can win them back and be friends with them again . but what can i do ?

all those past...

these days , my friends put some old class photos on facebook made me think of the past .
all those good and bad memories just popped out in my mind . one of it made me think of how i had treated my friends who treated me well , made me feel so bad now while thinking of it . i had no idea why last time i treat them like that without feeling bad while they still treat me well . i really regretted what i've done and i just hope that there's still time and chances for me to treat them good back . it's feel so stupid regretting over what's done and can't be undone. i thinking of those childish attitude make me feel more stupid . i dont think they still remember of it but i just remember all these because i'm feeling bad or what ? haha . i don't know , it just stuck in my mind . just hope that i wont lose these friends . i was wondering what i did in school . a school is for us to study but i dont think i really study and learn anything . i think i was just doing all those stupid stuff to get into trouble and finally unable to go school ,maybe it's just my retribution for not studying properly .

so TAKE CARES my frens .

maybe i'm not a good friend nor your important friend in your life but i only hope that when you hear my name , you'll smile and say that's my friend . . . thanks :D

went for ns check up ..

haha . late post .
ytd went for ns check up . kan pua long sia .
it has so many check ups . for chest , ear , blood , eyes , mantal calculations and x-ray .
wasted so much of my time .
im the person who scared of needles and the 1st check up is BLOOD TEST . omg . scared until nearly fainted . haha .

lost and stuck..

it had been very long for not updating my blog .
this blog is just a rubbish dump , for me to dump my thoughts and rubbish in .
as what i had been thinking , i dont really feel good when i sees or hears any 'singlish' .
i not really dislikes or rather despises those who cant write or speak good in languages , i don't know why i will think that they don't study so cant write or speak well . actually right now i'm also one of them . LOL
it really can see the differences wheather how high your education is by looking at how you write .
since young, i cant say im smart but i can say im not stupid .
i also cant say my studies is very good but i can my studies is not bad .
but now i really can say is really bad and i can say cause im playful and lazy . and not because im stupid .
since pri 1 till secondary 2 , i had countless tuitions . so i could maintain a 'not very good and not very bad' results . As what i believed , as long as i have tuition .how i play or slack in school, i still can maintain a 'not very good and not very bad result ' . but due to my lazyness , i skipped my tuition and eventually stopped having tuition so my results really worsened . and for now i had failed my o level but i had passed my n level and with this result can simply get into a ite and continue my studies but i just dont wish to get into that kind of 'school' . and now i can either retake my o level or get into ite .

th chinese new year EVE..

today is the CNY's eve and tomorrow will b chinese new year .
i should be very looking forward tomorrow but i just dont have the feeling .
maybe there's nothing special to me ,it's still the same eat , sleep , comp .
haha , one more new thing for tomorrow is the hongbao collection day
but don't really attracts me alot so also not very looking forward .
now is over 12am so happy chinese new year earthlings :D

th random out of th random..

things are never perfect .
during working life , it feel so tiring .
but after quitting working life , feel boring .
everyday is like a cycle , eat , slp , comp , eat , slp , comp .
haha . just addictted to eating yoghurts , drinking yakults .
having healthy lifestyle ??
well , haven quitted smoking .
life have been more stressed , just dont know why .
nothing to do also felt stress . lols ??
i really have to target my aim in life
and have to do something BIG before i die .
must [out people head ground] translate to chinese . =)
but is it possible ?
i think just have to put in my best effort and will have no regret .
cause i have put in my best .
so i think i really have to put a stop on playing & fooling around .
after my birthday im counted as an adult right ?
cause im 18 =) .. hahas !
so i have to be more mature .
LOL .

th story that touched me alot..

The story goes like this .
There was a father who punished his 5-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper . Money was tight for him and he became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree .
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father the next morning and said , This is for you , Dad . The father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction and hoping there's a nice present for him, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty . He spoke to her in a harsh manner .Don't you know when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package ?
The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said . Oh , Dad , it's not empty . I blew kisses into it until it was full .The father was crushed .He fell on his knees and put his arms around his little girl, and begged for her forgivness for his unnecessary anger .
An accident took the life of the child only a short time later and it is told that the father kept that gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. And whenever he was discouraged or faced any difficulty problems he would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there .

so by apologising may not mean you're wrong , it just simply means that u cherish the relationship much more than your ego .

everything has to come to it's end..

whats for to be popular ??
whats for to be very successful ??
whats for to be rich ??
does all this means everything ??
we cant probably stays everything forever.
even if we become the most successful person, it will be in vain after all.
in the end, we're still humans
so there's nothing to look down on others, even if we're better
after all, we still lose everything
if we did something bad and become successful, will it be meaningful ??
the world will still forgets us one day, as we vanish in this world.
so whatever we do will be meaningless after all..
don't you think so ??

clock can never move anti-clockwise..

i had been thinking what if time can be tuned back to last time ??
i wouldn't had fought during sec 3 EOY exam checking paper and
couldn't continue my studies in a normal school and had to change to a private school.
school fees become more expensive but my studies had not made any improvment..
spending much more money on studies than those normal students and studies are worst than them..
if time can be tuned back, i would spend more time on my studies and have a better result rather than now end up with a lousy cert and a BIG REGRET..

说谎 - 林宥嘉

是有过几个不错对象
说起来并不寂寞孤单
可能我浪荡让人家不安
才会结果都阵亡

我没有什么阴影魔障
你千万不要放在心上
我又不脆弱何况那算什么伤
反正爱情不就都这样

我没有说谎我何必说谎
你懂我的我对你从来就不会假装
我哪有说谎请别以为你有多难忘
笑是真的不是我逞强

我好久没来这间餐厅
没想到已经换了装潢
角落那窗口闻得到玫瑰花香
被你一说是有些印象

我没有说谎我何必说谎
你知道的我缺点之一就是很健忘
我哪有说谎是很感谢今晚的相伴
但我竟然有些不习惯

我没有说谎我何必说谎
爱一个人没爱到难道就会怎么样
别说我说谎人生已经如此的艰难
有些事情就不要拆穿~~~

我没有说谎是爱情说谎
它带你来骗我说渴望的有可能有希望
我没有说谎祝你做个幸福的新娘
我的心事请你全遗忘

nice lyrics.. =)